Double Digits Baby, 10 Months!

They made it to the double digits, or should I say we've made it to the double digits. Ten months old, in two more months they'll be a YEAR old. How in the heck?! This month we've been full swing in packing mode for our big cross country move back to Arizona. This by far has been one of the most drawn out and longest packing extravaganzas I've had as for the most part I started super early unsure how long it would take me to pack a house while taking care of twins. When you can only pack about an hour or so a day it makes the task very very slow. Not to mention most exhausted mom's don't think, oh good! It's nap time, let's pack some boxes and sort through closets for things to go to Goodwill. We're getting it done though, and I am eager to finish the task and get settled in our new place. Though, if I'm being honest I am sincerely NOT looking forward to enduring an Arizona summer.

This month seems like a blur because so much seems to have happened in the last thirty days. Summer pulled herself up to standing at the beginning of the month, it was touch and go there for the first up and down.. and now she's turbo crawler and stands up with anything and everything. She is so proud of herself and takes her new crawling freedom to explore all kinds of things as soon as the opportunity avails itself, dishwashers, the fridge, stairs (yikes), jumpers from the outside, you name it she's checking it out. She is definitely our little explorer.

Samantha is still working on crawling or maybe the butt scoot? We can't decide what she'll go for, or perhaps she's just going to skip this whole crawling thing and go straight to walking. She's trying to pull up onto everything just like her sister, and when she's standing she's so dang happy with herself! She's also getting her first two teeth! Our gummy smile will soon be no more, and I can't wait to see those little chompers peaking through when she gives a big grin for the camera.

They both learned to clap this month, they adore spending time looking at all the pictures in their books and then sampling the pages for a little tasty snack. They love being outside and just enjoying some time in the grass, or going on their daily walk with Daddy and their puppy sister. What can I say? These girls know how to live! Naps, hours of playtime, yummy food, warm bottles, long walks, and afternoons in the sun. Such a life!

It's been a good month, even with all the packing and our house being destroyed we've had a lot of fun. I've still worked hard at getting out of the house everyday to do something with the girls and enjoy the numbered days we have left in this beautiful city. We move in just  couple of weeks, and thank the heavens my mom is coming out to help the last week and to fly back with me and the girls while Jon makes the long trek across California in a ginormous moving truck towing our  baller minivan.  This move is bitter sweet, I am looking forward to being closer to family and I am excited about our new house in Arizona, but Portland has become home to Jonathan and I in the last five years...and it will be hard to say goodbye. You take away so much from every place you've lived, and Portland gave life and a fresh start to us when we needed it most. This city met us with open arms, the forest called our names, and we embraced a very different life. This city gave us our two beautiful girls, wonderful friends, and changed perspective. I will miss this place, so so much.

Here's wishing us luck in our next adventure, and moving across the west coast with 10 month old twins!

Nine Month Update

It's been a big month this April! So much has happened I can hardly believe that only a month has passed since I last wrote. They are growing up way to fast... SLOW DOWN, Mini's! SLOW D-O-W-N! For the first time, I look at them and, while they are still my baby girls, they aren't looking all that much like babies anymore; they are growing nicely into toddler bodies. They are tall and, while still happily chubby, they are leaning out a little in their expressive little faces, so much expression, in fact, that it's rare a day passes without one of them making me bow over in a ball of laughter.

Summer started crawling in both directions a couple of weeks ago, and she obviously was made for speed, cause it seems she gains some RPM's every morning after a good nights sleep. She's exploring like crazy and already beginning to get into everything: magazines, my dirty old shoes, paws towels, dog bowls, dog toys, poor Dahlia's tail. Literally anything will go directly from wherever she found it to the mouth! Mmmmm, tasty treats indeed! Samantha hasn't yet begun to crawl, but she's certainly found her voice this month. She likes to talk, LOUDLY. She plays ball, peek a boo, claps, absolutely adores Dahlia, and is still just as tender hearted and gentle as before. Actually, when I'm with her I think about what a sweet gentle soul she is, which just makes me want to hug and kiss on her all the time.

Other big things... they started eating REAL food and a lot of it! We introduced solids at about 5.5 months and made a go at "baby-led weaning." I am not going to do the description justice, but theoretically, you give baby what you eat, let them mash it up with their gums, and limit the pureed food route... it seemed like it was going to be such a cinch! HA! They fail to mention to you that for the better part of three months it's pretty likely that you will make things for your baby and offer them food.. only to have them either taste it and spit it out, or smear it all over themselves and the highchair, gag on it and puke, or just throw it directly onto the ground for the dog..... twice a day for three months is a long time to go through this cycle. I recognize it wasn't personal, but geez, I always considered myself to be a pretty good cook.. and they were beginning to shake my confidence. Then suddenly, and without warning, I made pancakes for them (side note, feed them what you eat.. hahaha.. unless they can have a couple protein bars, cups of coffee, maybe an apple, and some wine, I'm fairly certain they won't be eating what I'm eating) Anyways, I put the pancakes down and they both picked them up and started eating them, like really eating them, I practically cried in joy. So after the pancake turning point it's been happy eating since, two - three meals a day of scrumptious indulgence, baby style. They LOVE food. Watermelon, strawberries, sweet bread pudding, quesadillas, avocados, peaches, cherries, zucchini, asparagus, yogurt... all the food, all the time. I haven't done a even a marginal job and taking a slow introduction schedule, frankly I just can barely find the time to feed them something, I certainly don't have time to track it or remember what they ate all the way back to yesterday, forget it. My new motto, let it go a little, and embrace some stress free mothering from time to time. While for a while I was super annoyed with baby led weaning, I am now thrilled I stuck it out.. cause now at nine months, they are eating real food and I even fed them today with leftovers from last nights dinner. Winning!

It's been a great month, Jon took the girls for a long weekend so I could get away to beach with my mom and have some much needed me time, it was hard to let go (and I didn't really do a great job) but it let me come back to the girls with a rejuvenated spirit and a better attitude. He did great, and it takes a brave man to agree to care solo for twin girls and our puppy.. but Jon has never been one to back down from a challenge and he's a wonderful, equally vital, and competent parent to Summer and Samantha .. I had zero doubt he would do great, and the girls were happy, the house wasn't destroyed,   that's pretty much all I'm capable of accomplishing on any given day. He's amazing, and I'm lucky to have such a great partner in raising them.

I can see them changing so fast, and as I've said before ... we're all growing around here. They are cultivating and learning to become whomever they will be everyday and I am doing the same as I learn what it means to be their mother and how that role will change and grow as they do. Unlike the months before, I can actually see the future more now.. I see lunch dates, movie nights, baking cookies, laughing hysterically together, playing in the yard, swimming, taking Dahlia for walks, meeting grandparents for lunch.. I can see it and I'm so excited for everything to come.


Picture free post, my iCloud is acting up.. I'll have it fixed for next month :) 

We're not babies anymore, Eight Months!

The girls are eight months old!  How is that possible?! I feel like I can quite literally see them growing overnight. They are squarely kids now: no longer infants anymore, they fall far more into the spectrum of wiggly,  strong willed baby girls instead. Every day feels like ten packed into one, sometimes I have to just stop and take a moment to take all the snapshots of life and file them away for safe keeping in my memory. I know I am bound to forget the details about what their little faces look like when they feel the bathwater splash their cheeks or when they laugh hysterically when I sneeze. These past days have been a constant reminder that this time with them is so fleeting, that it really does pass in a blink of an eye. Everyone says it, and you blow it off, because you're in the trenches, the under-slept, overwhelmed, holy-shit-this-is-hard trenches... when you're in that mode it's difficult to think about how incredible and unique the infant stage really is, until suddenly you're walking around and you see a brand new fresh little squishy baby and it dawns on you that your babies aren't that little at all anymore. They are growing up, and fast.

This month I have to say has been pretty fun, the girls are playing with each other! They make each other laugh, they steal toys, they are starting to have conversations with one another, they swipe each others food from across the high chair tray even though they have the same thing on their own, they seem to be completely undisturbed when one of them (namely Summer) decides to sit on top of the other one, they sympathy cry for the other when they are truly upset, creating a fantastic symphony of screaming! And they both are so in love with Dahlia...quite possibly their favorite thing on the planet!

The days are crazy busy and I find it amazing so much fits jammed into the 12 hours they are awake. We are fine-tuned scheduled machines and, while it doesn't leave much for the spontaneous outing, it has made life infinitely more manageable and has made for some much happier girls. Jon has started taking the girls out for a father-daughter day a few times a month and I have several hours at home ALONE....silence... no babies! [To all the babe-less people out there who read this blog: this is the quite possibly the most amazing gift you could ever give someone with children: silent time, alone, in their own home. Don't just offer to watch the baby... TAKE the baby out of the house! Let them be a couch potato with a mimosa, finish a task from start to end, do anything at all they want to... alone.] Those few hours for me have felt like they've changed my outlook on the entire week. It's a much needed break from motherhood and it's amazing what that time does to refresh my attitude, leaving me longing for baby cuddles by the time they get home.

What can I say? It's been a fantastic month. Everyday is filled with challenges but it's filled with such happiness too. I'm continually reminding myself to shrug off the unimportant stuff and soak up all of joy I can from everyday. It's really a good mindset to have about life in general, but for some reason in parenthood it seems like we spend so much time just trying to get through.. so my goal for this past month has been driven by the final words in "a short guide to a happy life" by Anna Quindlen

"And he just stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view." And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view.....Look at the view. You'll never be disappointed."  

So here I am.. the girls a month older, and I can say, I've done a better job at taking in the daily view.. capturing the still pictures with my eyes, filing them away forever, and reminding myself to just enjoy it. 

Seven Months Old

Seven months old. I know February is a short month, but seriously, how in the world has a month already gone by since I last wrote an update? I had lofty ideas of keeping everyone up to date with the comings and goings this month and not waiting a month to write another update, but this month was decidedly the busiest, most mucus filled month of them all. The girls started off February with a nasty cold, which Samantha got first, then Summer, then mommy and then daddy... Fun stuff, so much fun that I don't care if we ever have another cold again!

The last twenty eight days have been insane actually: we survived the colds, we traveled to Arizona to visit family and celebrate my brother's new bike shop opening, we sold a house, and we bought a new house! The girls are right on the edge of crawling, and I have a feeling our days of a baby gate free house are coming quickly to a close and my life is going to be significantly more interesting as I figure out how much harder it is  going to be to chase two babies around. Pray for me.

About a week ago I officially stopped pumping for the girls,  I am proud to say that I made it almost seven months exclusively pumping breastmilk for them. If there was ever a time in my life I feel like I should get some kind of medal it's for doing this. Exclusively pumping is no freaking joke, it requires at least three hours out of your day and night, cause pumping happens all day and all night long. That pump is your second baby, or in my case, my third baby. I can't really even articulate how challenging it was at times, how hard it is to play with twins while pumping, and pettign a puppy in your lap, how much getting clogged ducts hurt, how much additional time you still have to devote to feeding when pumping is only one part of the feeding equation....and omg the dishes! Pump parts and bottles, ALL the freaking time.. so many things to wash your hands literally crack open from dryness.

I've been thinking a lot about how insane this part of the last six months of my life has been, how incredibly lucky I am to have been able to provide nourishment for both of the girls for the first six months of their lives. I say lucky, cause in my time as a new mom, I know of almost no one who had everything just work in this department. While my girls didn't latch, I was able to make enough milk to feed them, and many people just aren't that lucky.

Speaking of supplying milk, you might wonder how much milk does it take to feed twin girls? The answer, a freaking lot. I have some pretty serious geeky detail about this, but I keep it simple for the sake of the blog, over the last seven months or so I pumped about an average of 60-70 ounces of milk a day, that's about a half gallon of milk, in 6-7 months that adds up to just over 11000 ounces, or about  86 gallons of milk and at around 20 calories per ounce that means I pumped 222,000 calories, you read that right, two hundred and twenty two thousand calories.

This probably seems like a ridiculously large part of this months post, but the completion of this piece, making it this long, has felt so monumental. The journey has been emotional. I'm proud of my commitment to this piece of raising our girls, I feel blessed that we made it work and I that I made enough, and now after almost two weeks of not pumping... I am glad it's over and I'm happy to have possession of my body again. I've enjoyed multiple glasses of wine, was able to take cold medicine, an allergy pill, and I can leave the house for more than two hours!  A week ago I was sad and cried when I pumped out the last few ounces, but now I'm focusing my energy on other things and just enjoying the hours of additional time I have back in my day. The freedom practically makes me giddy. The girls are happy, healthy, and thriving, what more could I ask for?

I don't have a lot more to share, but I will say again: God I love these two munchkins. They are beautiful, I am awe as I watch them grow and change every day. My hear melts with Summer's gut shaking laughter, and Samantha's huge cheeky smile that make her eyes squint till you can't see them anymore. I cherish these days that they are talking to each other, making each other laugh, and the coo, goo, aaahhh sounds they make all day. Now that everyone is healthy again, I just have to say.. They are just so much fun! I mean it's hard, really hard, but it's really fun too, maybe even more fun BECAUSE we have two. Love you girls, you make my heart practically burst with love.